These are the real horoscopes for the April paper
Aries (March 21-April 19): Take a chance and try something new today. It could end up being a huge part of your life that you’ll be grateful for.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Keep up the good spirit! Everything you do affects your loved ones, and they’ll be happy if you are.
Gemini (May 21-June 21): Don’t let every single thing bug you so much. Not everything is always perfect, and you have to let some things be.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): Don’t always tag along behind the crowd. Make your own path and follow your own dreams. It’s a lot of fun to just be you!
Leo (July 23-August 22): Take a day and volunteer for something. Maybe with kids or at a zoo. Helping others out makes you feel just as good as them.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Go on a journey. Take a step forward and keep moving. You’ll meet new people along the way, and when you find out where you’re going, you’ll get there.
Libra (September 23-October 23): Well aren’t you just great! You take charge when things aren’t going well and help solve problems, whether with friends or on a team. Keep it up, but don’t think that you’re the only one who can fix it all.
Scorpio (October 24-November 21): Keep up the good attitude. You can do anything if you believe in yourself. Take chances and don’t let anyone let you stop trying.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): You don’t always have to keep yourself working. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit on the couch and read or listen to music.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Dress for fun! One day this week, take everything out of your closet and try it all on. Take pictures of things you look good in, and throw away things that are just bad! You’ll get a head start on spring cleaning.
Aquarius (January 20-Fedruary 18): So you’re sensitive. Big deal. You are who you are. If you have a way of dealing with stress, then use it. You can’t let anyone change you.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Don’t let anything get the better of you today. Just let it all go and relax. Take a break from whatever is giving you stress and spend the day with you favorite people, whether it’s family or friends.
TODAYS BIRTHDAY: Make today the best. Have fun with friends and family, and then, at the end of the night, write it all down so that you won’t forget it. Then, read your story whenever you aren’t feeling well and remember how much people love you.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
April Fools Horoscopes
These are the April Fools side of the horoscopes.
The Stars Are Spelling Out Your Horoscopes!!
Aries (March 21-April 19): Every time someone says your name, you must respond, “Hot Dogs!!” It’ll be good luck.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Paint your face to look like a clown. Then go out for the circus!
Gemini (May 21-June 21): It’s Eat Cake for Dinner Day! Go home and make a mess of your kitchen when baking the cake. Then the clean-up fairy will come. Careful… She might be mad.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): You have super-powers from 6am to 6pm. Use them wisely!
Leo (July 23-August 22): It’s National Chicken Wings Day! Go home and tell your parents to buy some for dinner, or else you’ll have bad luck for the next week.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): At 9 o’clock tonight, go out and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the top of your lungs. Then a shooting star will fly by and you can make a wish. Watch out though… Don’t mistake a star for a rock.
Libra (September 23-October 23): See how long you can go without breathing. Maybe you’ll break the world record!
Scorpio (October 24-November 21): Sleep with your pajama’s inside out and backwards for luck. Oh, wait, that’s snow.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Go fishing! Try and catch the biggest fish and then give it to your lover.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Today you must hop to class. It is good exercise and it will put you in the spotlight. Everyone will be talking about you!!
Aquarius (January 20-Fedruary 18): Take a trip to the mall sometime in the next two weeks. Run around the stores. If you get yelled out 5 times or more, or even get kicked out, you’ll be the coolest kid in school.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Take your parents credit card and buy everything you want. You’ll have a good excuse for a higher allowance when you have to pay it back.
TODAYS BIRTHDAY: Blast your music really loud and open your windows wide. Ignore what the neighbors yell at you and especially ignore what your parents say.
The Stars Are Spelling Out Your Horoscopes!!
Aries (March 21-April 19): Every time someone says your name, you must respond, “Hot Dogs!!” It’ll be good luck.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Paint your face to look like a clown. Then go out for the circus!
Gemini (May 21-June 21): It’s Eat Cake for Dinner Day! Go home and make a mess of your kitchen when baking the cake. Then the clean-up fairy will come. Careful… She might be mad.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): You have super-powers from 6am to 6pm. Use them wisely!
Leo (July 23-August 22): It’s National Chicken Wings Day! Go home and tell your parents to buy some for dinner, or else you’ll have bad luck for the next week.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): At 9 o’clock tonight, go out and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the top of your lungs. Then a shooting star will fly by and you can make a wish. Watch out though… Don’t mistake a star for a rock.
Libra (September 23-October 23): See how long you can go without breathing. Maybe you’ll break the world record!
Scorpio (October 24-November 21): Sleep with your pajama’s inside out and backwards for luck. Oh, wait, that’s snow.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Go fishing! Try and catch the biggest fish and then give it to your lover.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Today you must hop to class. It is good exercise and it will put you in the spotlight. Everyone will be talking about you!!
Aquarius (January 20-Fedruary 18): Take a trip to the mall sometime in the next two weeks. Run around the stores. If you get yelled out 5 times or more, or even get kicked out, you’ll be the coolest kid in school.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Take your parents credit card and buy everything you want. You’ll have a good excuse for a higher allowance when you have to pay it back.
TODAYS BIRTHDAY: Blast your music really loud and open your windows wide. Ignore what the neighbors yell at you and especially ignore what your parents say.
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